I am going to talk about something personal with you. I love making memories, but I have a hard time of letting go. When I like something, I don’t want to lose it. And when it is time to say goodbye, it is pretty hard for me to let go. Sounds familiar?

The simple things in life

I like simple things in life. I love my marriage, my dog, my apartment, my life. I don’t need or crave much else. My life is all about creating memories with the ones I love, and inspiring others while doing so. I wish everything could stay the way it is now, but life is not like that. Life is constantly changing, good and bad things will happen. Good times will pass, but Bad Times will pass too. Experiencing deep lows, will make you appreciate the high times in your life. Life is about dealing with everything that comes at you, every single day of your life. It is very hard and especially for a Highly Sensitive Person or HS Person like myself.

DO THE TEST: Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? 

Keeping things the way they are

You can’t keep everything the same even if you want to. Kids grow up, your favorite pets die, people break up and so on. And if you stay stagnant, you do not grow either. You have to move on, and let go of some things to be able to enjoy these new things that come your way. Step by step, day by day. If you have to make changes in your life, do it slowly and start with one project and move on to the next after the first one is moving along. That’s what I try to do. Every day I try to tackle one thing, especially when they can cause an emotional reaction within me. As a PTSD sufferer, I need to really process and digest every stressful thing that comes my way.

The Art of Letting Go

One thing I work on everyday through Organice Your Life  is getting better at letting go.  I really think it is an Art if you can do it without causing too much emotional distress. I want all the things that made for happy memories stay the way they are forever. I can think for hours about good memories from the past. I really appreciate the good things that happened in my life, still regularly visit the sweet places I once was part of, and stay in contact with the nice people who have been such a big part of my life at one point in my life. I don’t want them to change, but they do. And if we deal with changes in a good way, we can be stronger and enjoy and grow with them.

Life is about Birth and Death and everything in between – Lonneke Engel

Saying goodbye

In my life I had to say goodbye to so many People and things. And a lot of times I had no say in it at all.  I had a good relationship with my father. Then one day my father died. I had a good relationship with my Grand mother, and one day my grand mother died. I had friends die on me, I had acquaintances die on me. My horse Key West was in my life for 18 years. I did not want him to die ever. But one day he died. My dogs Kenya and Vito died. Because the only bad thing about dogs is that they don’t live forever. And one day my favorite cat Sushi did not come home. You get the picture: good things in my life disappeared.

The older you get, the more you will deal with Death and be forced to say goodbye. Only when you are all grown up you realize this concept is true. So the sooner you learn the Art of letting go of anything in life in a peaceful way, the better you can deal with these intense life events.

My horse Key West

Breaking up is a mourning process

Besides the ones who died,  I also had to say goodbye to some people as well during my life. Because we did not match, did not get along, or wanted different things. When you break up with someone you have to go your separate ways. And you can’t be best friends with all of then. For instance with your exes. That would be weird.  Every break up it felt like something was dying on me, and it is the same mourning process as when someone close to you dies.

Letting go of friends

Friendships come and go. I am lucky that I have a few friendships that have lasted for decades, but there were moments in my life I was super close with someone for a few years, and then something happened and we weren’t friends anymore. Again, that feels like a mourning process.

with my lovely besties since high school, Maruja & Lianne!

READ MORE: Organize Your Relationships

Proper closure

Either way, I am happy to see when all the people who I had a close bond with in my past are doing well and are happily married or something. If I have to say goodbye to them because we are going in a different direction, I really need the separation to go well, otherwise I suffer and can’t deal with it. It has to be a smooth break-up, and I have to be on good terms, otherwise it bothers me too much for the rest of my life. I spend a lot of time on closures of different things.

And sometimes I go back to these people after decades if I feel that there wasn’t a proper, rightful closure. When that finally happens, I feel closure.

Changing careers

The one thing I surprisingly had no issue with saying goodbye to, was my successful modeling career. Looking back I think it is because the industry had changed while I had stayed the same, and it made the experience less fun for me. In my opinion, I had achieved everything I could dream of regarding modeling. Due to hard work of myself and the people I worked with, I experienced the exclusive contracts for makeup, skincare and clothing brands, the beautiful shoots and wonderful trips, as well as that Vogue Cover. It was time to move on, and work on projects that were more about using my brain, than my looks.

Ralph Lauren by Regan Cameron

Making Memories

We inevitably die one day, we can not take anything physically with us. The only thing we can take with us are the memories we made, so make them worthwhile. Enjoy people, animals, things, places and happy emotions once they are present, because it all ends on day.

The one thing we can be sure of is that tomorrow the Sun will come up in the morning, and in the evening the Sun will go down. The rest is all one big surprise.

Mental Picture

My husband told me a story of a little 5 year old boy he met. And this stuck with me. The little boy said when he liked something and he had to leave it behind, he would take a “mental picture” of it (with the actual hand gestures of holding a imaginary camera and taking.a picture) so he could take with him forever. And I have been using this technique ever since I heard that boy do it. When I have to let go of something, I make sure I spend time consciously taking it in, taking that “mental picture”. I noticed once I do it more consciously, the memories stay with me in a stronger way. We can learn a lot from kids if we are open to it.

Love, Lonneke