was not only founded by me to help others. It also helps me in my daily life. We all need some guidance now and then, and we all need to adjust our lives along the way. This also counts for our relationships, and it is very important to organize your relationships continuously!


Humans are born in a certain family and usually do not have a choice who their parents are and who their siblings are. Sometimes they are a blessing, sometimes they are torture. Remember, the behavior of family members is beyond your control. But once you are a grown-up – or at any other point in your life – you can decide yourself if you want to spend time with them or not.

You decide yourself who you love dearly and who is special to you. It doesn’t need to be direct family, but it can be nieces, nephews, far away friends, even animals can feel like family! And I know my dogs are family to me!

My God Child Navy with my previous dog Vito in New York City

READ MORE: A Dog is a party of the family

Balance is the key

Family should not feel like suffocation, but like a nice time. Giving and receiving love, attention and time should be in balance. If you give too much: you will feel drained, but receiving too much at once feels uncomfortable too. Always strive to find that balance in family life.

I made a video about how to deal with the sometimes  dreaded holidays, parties and any other interaction or gathering with your familymembers:


When you decide to have children (or not) you do not know what your child will develop into. You could end up having the best relationships with your children ever, but sometimes your child will have the total opposite character or vision in life. Remember that you must not expect receiving anything back from your children. It is a pure selfless act of bringing children into this World and raising them, and you are just there to nurture and educate your offspring as well as pay for everything and also put them first at all times. For some people they have children to fill a void in their own life. But once they discover that they cannot expect anything from their children they sometimes are disappointed, disgruntled or even worse: blame their children for everything that is wrong with their own life. So avoid this all by expecting little and giving what you have to give and hope for the best. If you are not planning to be totally selfless, maybe not having kids at all is a good idea otherwise both will suffer in the end.

Luckily many families have a great relationships with their children!

Grand children, nieces & nephews

Grand children is like getting a second chance that most people are very happy they get. That’s why sometimes grandparents are more fun than your parents! (because they only get the good moments and not the bad moments and high bills!) The same you can say from nieces and nephews: you can be that sugar uncle or aunt who they love but who only gets the good times and usually not the difficult moments of raising a child.

I love my nephews Navy & Milo and my niece Lux!


The one thing that is great about friends is, that you can actually choose your friends! Sometimes we are sucked into draining friendships, but most of the time you can build long-lasting friendships throughout life. My best friends have been in my life for more than 25 years, and even though we sometimes don’t see each other for a while, we always have video chat and messaging to stay in contact with each other! Because a good friend does not matter if they see you every day or maybe not even once in a year, but when you do see them, you continue where you left off the last time you saw each other.

 I have known Maruja and Lianne since high school!

Honest friends

Friends are there to pick you up when you are down, and to celebrate during good times. But most of all: friends are honest with you and are not just hanging out because of ulterior motives. Even if you don’t like it at that moment, they will tell you their honest opinion if you are making a mistake, for which you will be thankful later on in life once you have come to your senses again ;)


Brainstorming with my entrepreneurial friends Maruja & Joey

READ MORE: The Circle of Five 

Organice Your Life - Circle of FiveLove

It might be a good idea stay single and work on yourself until you find a great match with someone who is worth to spend your life with. Love is give and take, in good times and bad times. It is not always roses and sunshine, but the commitment and Peace you feel once you are in a good relationship are definitely worth it. I see life and love as an every day adventure with my partner. We are making memories together that we will cherish forever and later in life reminisce about.

Dirk, Lonneke and Bane
My husband Dirk and Bane the day we adopted him from Animal Haven!

Your community

You might not realize it, but you can be a pivotal person within your community. Your community always need good people to help others. There are so many ways you can help, that you can find something that you like doing as well! The hardest thing is the first time you reach out because it is something new and unknown and can be scary. But once you have become familiar with your new “family” it will be easy to go there and you will love the impact that you can have in so many people’s lives!

READ MORE: How to help the homeless on cold days

Remember this: At the end of your life you can’t take anything with you in your grave, but all the wonderful memories you made with wonderful people. Make every day count.

Love, Lonneke